i think bella fell out of a francesca

i think bella fell out of a francesca lia block novel.
she has the palest honey soft skin. and shes absoluely perfectly chubby.
she feels like a babydoll. warm and cuddly and soothing.
her eyes are huge and her lashes are long.
and shes happy. smiley and laughing.
but she has a big temper.
which reminds me that shes mine.
anthony is my boy. hes my equal and my friend.
but bella is my baby.

anthony is 2 today. two years since he was the little guy will 5 pounds with tubes and cables and scary stuff hooked up to the with that breathy thing that gave me panic attacks. they took my boat born baby... my first and only reason in an ambulance fourty five fucking minutes away from me when i needed stuck in a right bed with a cathater and a fucking IV. they cut him open and stitched him back up. twice. before i got banned hold him. i cant believe i made it through the leaving a hospital without your baby is a girl. crappy feeling. but hes fine now. he has a funny scar and a huge personality and hes fine. hes smart and well behaved and right now hes sitting in bellas swing watching the doodlebops wearing cars pull-ups and a teeshirt and hes fine. hes ok now.

things are ok now. or they will be. theyve told eric they want him at the last company. they are figuring out where he'll be and hours and salary and all that you before they officially hire him. im sure hell get what he asked for salary-wise... but if they gave him more that would be super amazing.

we got our tax return. and put a whetstone k in savings. and paid off ever single fucking bill we have. no balances. no credit cards. no past due amounts. nothing. everything is current (or in some cases, ahead). two and a half more months of tuition. three more months of storage. three more months of here. then. we'll get a peice of shit amount of child support to help us out. really... its nothing. but itll pay for part of my every month. now. i just need to place to live. also. if i made more money itd be nice. except. i really hate mine. be away from us.</span>"<br><span kids... i like. really. really. hate it.

i have a cold. so does bella. and ant.

katie. email me pictures of their last few outings. patties party. chuck e. cheese. and the thing before that. i cant remember what that was.

ant may 2005
look how naked katies arms are! and how curly her hair is!!!)

ant march 2007